I coached college basketball for a number of years. I started at my alma mater, University of Dallas, where I helped out with both the basketball and volleyball programs...while I took a year off from school. From there, I was a graduate assistant for two years, under two very successful college coaches, in Memphis, TN and Gettysburg, PA. After one season in Gettysburg, I was offered my first head coaching job which landed me right here in south Texas, and in the same conference that I played in.
In my six seasons, I had numerous players pass through my program...hell, my first full recruiting class included about twenty-five freshmen. Some came and went, usually when they found out that they were not going to get any playing time, while others stuck around for the full four years. I had a great group of "kids", as I would call them, during my coaching years. And I earned every grey hair that they put on my head.
I had every type of player and type of personality you could imagine. I had kids that grew up in the sticks, military kids, rich kids, and the kids that were independently putting themselves through school. I had ones that were academically brilliant, natural leaders, natural athletes as well as the ones that struggled in school or on the court. And of course, I had trouble makers...from the ones that get caught doing something stupid on a dare to the ones that are always in trouble for one thing or another. But I always stood up for my players regardless of their situation.
I was in a staff meeting one week when our athletic director made it known to all the coaches that the players that stay in trouble aren't worth your time...or as he stated, "you can't save everyone". He was making this statement based on one of my players that had been caught with paraphernalia in her car by campus security. He went on to say that we should just let those players go...or I think he used the words "move on".
I was appalled. Yes, I was a young coach and he had many more years of experience than I did, but did he really just indirectly tell me to throw this kid back while she is obviously crying for help?! So I did what any good coach would do. I stuck by her side. She was a good student, very talented ball player, and was just in need of a little help at that time in her life. So, I was there when she needed a ride to meetings, when she showed up bloody and beat up for an early morning practice, through every requirement of her probation, and even dropping the fifteen pounds she gained over one summer from partying.
In four years, I saw this player at her best and worst...I got to see her grow up right in front of me. Some players stood up for her, even when she pissed them off, and others would have rather seen me kick her off the team. But for better or worse, by her senior season she had cleaned herself up and became one of the best forwards I ever coached.
As the quote goes, "everyone has a story...don't judge others before you truly know them."...or something along those lines. She is now happily married with a family and I am proud to have been a part of her life, if only for four years.
Moral of the story...you may not be able to save everyone, obviously, but that does not mean that you don't give it a shot when the opportunity arrises. And don't listen to the advise of another person that has a complete disconnect with the young adults in his/her own program. And finally, take plenty of psychology classes before jumping into coaching. :)
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