I love the "top 10" lists that I see posted these days. Most are hilarious...mainly because half are un-true. Or maybe it is because they do not fit me at all. So, I decided to make my own!
Top 10 Things I Wish I Had Known About Alcohol.
10. If you are the first to pass out, expect to wake up with Sharpie all over your face...or some kind of substance.
9. If you get hurt while drinking (which we call a UPI...unidentified party injury), a minor scratch to a drunk is actually a gaping hole that probably needs stitches.
8. A drunk athlete can be pretty badass, but a sober one has the mind set of kicking some ass with less mistakes. And no missed workouts due to a hangover.
7. Beer goggles do exist!
6. Bar fights do not always make good stories. After getting the boot from one bar, I lost about seven bucks in quarters...pissed off, I threw them out into the parking lot. But I guess someone had a good time picking them all up.
5. There will always be great drunk stories the next day. If you can remember them.
4. Bags of chips have no purpose in life except to be eaten while consuming beer. Chocolate chip cookies are the best things ever, but taste like ass with beer.
3. It makes you fat. Not only did I love amber beer, such as Shiner, I also ate a ton of food when I drank. At least shopping for clothes in San Antonio was easy, it has to be the only city where a size small is actually an x-large in every other city.
2. Kegs are better to lift with than to drink. Who would have known that I would be throwing kegs over my head instead of filling pitchers to play beer pong.
1. It is addictive. Well no one told me at age 11!
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