Overcoming Fears

So, yes, I have a fear of flying.  I don't mind getting on scary rides at amusement parks, I have been skydiving, and will pretty much do anything for the thrill of it...except fly.  Every time I drive by the airport I hope that it will spontaneously combust.  And with every day that passes, I get a little more nervous about my flight on Thursday. 

Since I started working out again, I have overcome my fear of ripping my knees apart by squatting again, thanks to my wonderful coach and learning how to squat properly.  And just yesterday, I hit another milestone by snatching 100lbs.  No, 100lbs is not a lot of weight, but attempting a 100lb snatch back in '09 is where I first started having knee issues.  So late last night, I loaded the bar and landed it...after trying to talk myself out of it about three times.  It wasn't pretty but I stood up with the weight none the less.

Oh and did I mention that I have overcome my fear of living life without a beer buzz.  Yes, that has happened too.  And I am loving every minute of my sober life!  Even as a I type this, I feel like I have been run over by a semi after my leg workout...but still loving it! 

So what is up with getting on an airplane?  I know my fear began just after grad school.  I was on a flight back from Baltimore, where I had spent the weekend defending my master's thesis...I think in 2001 or so.  The plane landed in Atlanta and all flights that ran through Houston had been cancelled because of massive flooding in the area.  The next morning I boarded the last leg of the flight and as we got closer to Houston we were diverted around more storms.  Around that time, the plane hit some turbulence and it felt like we dropped about eight feet.  That was the end of my sober flying experience.  Ever since then I have been buzzed or completely wasted on every flight...until now.

This time is different.  There is no alcohol to disguise my fear.  I am venturing out on this trip alone which means that I can not attach myself to a friend like a spider monkey.  And don't think I haven't thought up ways to get kicked off.  But I am committed to this competition and getting my ass to San Diego...in one piece.  Whatever it takes, I WILL get on the plane.  Maybe there will be a professional fighter on with me...one head shot and I will be out like a light!  Wishful thinking :)