Reasoning

When alcohol rules your life, reasoning skills simply do not exist.  The most primary example is being offered one more drink, even though you are already obliterated, and responding with "sure, why not".  For me and my lack of reasoning, I would never turn down a round of brew, especially fresh draft beer in a tall frosty mug.  I was not going to be the one to end the party, or be the first to go home, or for that matter let someone else out drink me. 

There is scientific proof that reduced brain function, while under the influence, inhibits reasoning skills.  Well, no shit right?!  I, myself, have been behind the wheel of a car drunk more times than I can count.  I have also done more stupid things on a seconds notice, usually with money or some kind of bet involved, than I care to admit.  I have gotten into fights, arguments in which I couldn't even recall the subject matter, and have been kicked out of bars all because of over consumption of alcohol lead to poor decision making...or better yet the inability to make a reasonable decision.  And of course, I have woken up in places thinking "where the hell am I".

So how do you, as a loved one or family member, deal with an addict's lack of reasoning?  Tough question with an even tougher answer.  Honestly, you can't.  The age old solution of trying to reason with an addict should at this point be thrown out the window. It is not that they do not care about the people they are hurting.  It is an unintentional consequence of excessive use of the drug of choice.  They simply lack the skill set to make a reasonable choice.  Whereas most of us wake up thinking about breakfast, an addict wakes up in the morning with one thing on their mind...how can I get a quick buzz and make my life tolerable again.

Every addict drinks for a reason, and it is not because they love the taste of alcohol. It is primarily for the buzz...the inevitable disappearance of reality.  As for me, mine was based a lot in my childhood.  I used alcohol to make feelings disappear and create a happier life that did not truly exist...as well as to appear to friends that everything was perfect.  Others over indulge in alcohol to "overcome" loss of loved ones, to deal with or actually not deal with family issues, or to avoid remembering something that is eating away at them on the inside.  The list could go on forever.  In my opinion, the first step is to find the root of the problem.  As easy as this may sound, the root may be burried so deep, the addict may not even be able to define it themselves.  It took me months of counseling before I was able to identify, at least in part, why I turned to drinking as a solution.

So if you are looking for a quick or immediate, definitive solution, you are probably more likely to win the lotto.  The one and only thing I have found to have any percentage of success is support and love.  As frustrating as it may be to all parties involved, support for an addict, through the bad times and the even worse times, gives the addict options...one being hope.  With support and love, comes a sense of trust, and with trust comes the possibilty of opening up about the root of the problem.  And all of these combined begins a healing process for everyone involved.

This is not an overnight solution.  It is only the beginning of a long journey; think of it as a climb up Mt. Everest.   Until that one day arrives, where the weather is perfect, and the people climbing are 100% invested, only then will the summit be reached.  But please, don't give up, walk away, or turn your back on an addict; they too desire to reach the summit of sobriety and a guide of sorts to help them make that one reasonable decision.