Unrelenting

Unrelenting:  1. Used to describe someone who does something in a constant and determined way without stopping or becoming less forceful.  2. Not yielding in strength, severity, or determination.

There was a time, not so long ago, when I thought I had finally done just enough to destroy my life; mentally, physically, emotionally...and every other "ally" word you can think of.  But with help, I made a huge change in my life...and I can officially say, I have taken my life back.

This year has been absolutely amazing, and I apologize for not keeping my blog up to date in recent months...especially to those interested in learning what an addict is capable of...if and when they decide to clean up their life.  And yes, it is possible to be successful in recovery.  It is an undefined process of self-discovery, which will redefine everything you once knew.

The biggest key to my success has been finding various hobbies in which I never lose interest.  Strongman and powerlifting have effectively filled that role, with the addition of various creative pursuits geared for down time at home.  From lifting, to writing, to fixing and building things, to drawing, they all share one thing in common...there is no absolute, final end result.  Meaning there are in infinite number of weights to lift, techniques to learn in building and drawing, and subjects to write about.

Up until age 14, I spent hours in the evenings, after it was too dark to play outside, doing creative projects.  I traded my coloring books for a drawing tablet, and sketched whatever came to mind.  One of my favorites to this day is a black and white of Bill Laimbeer, that I replicated from an ad for shaving cream (could have been razors?).  And remember the good old science/social studies fair, in which everyone's mom stayed up late "helping" to finish the project.  Not mine.  I did my project on Abraham Lincoln's assassination.  At age 12-13, I built from scratch...wait for it.......a replica of the scaffolding in which the four individuals charged with the assassination were hung.  I am fairly sure this would not be allowed on school grounds in this day and age, and I would be tagged as a potential serial killer.  But I went into great detail by wrapping my G.I. Joe's in pieces of black trash bag, and using small pieces of twine to hang each one...literally.  To this day, I don't understand why I didn't win. ;)

As I entered my high school years, I abandoned these "outlets".  Although, I am not sure if the increase in the volume of alcohol caused me to lose interest, or I lost interest and then turned to increasing my alcohol.  Who knows?!  But my creative side has definitely returned. Since arthritis, and a broken thumb, continues to decrease the functionality of my hands, I find it increasingly difficult to write, much less draw.  I have, however, found its replacement in a little thing called Photoshop...the touch screen version.

I also love to research (real research, not wikipedia) various topics that catch my interest, especially those with historical significance.  After college, I never thought the word "research" would come out of my mouth again.  But since sobering up, my desire to learn has gone into overdrive.  Filled with so much useless knowledge, I would be an all-star on a high school debate team.  However, as Thomas Jefferson said, "...knolege is power, ...knolege is safety, and...knolege is happiness." (Quick note: the word "knowledge" is intentionally spelled "knolege").