2016 USS Nationals

The atmosphere was that of a giant block party just waiting for the kegs to be rolled out. On one end, there was a large stage, complete with speakers, a sound system, & a big screen tv that hung overhead. At the opposite end sat several sets of aluminum bleachers with various strongman implements, & the athlete warm-up area just steps away. And between the two, on the cobblestone street, there were four logs & four deadlift bars set on rubber mats, loaded, and ready to go...all accompanied by a judge, loaders, & a timer. The entire area was marked of by metal barricades, lined with chairs & coolers of fans & competitors alike, & shaded by a second story canopy. 

I stood among a group of women clad in white competition tshirts just inside the barriers on 4th Street Live, patiently, but nervously waiting for our name to be called for the first event, the log clean & press. As there appeared to be a bit of confusion on the order of the athletes, I approached the judge to verify who was up next. From my left, I hear the words “athletes ready”, from my judge I hear, “oh, you ARE up next, are you ready?”.  After standing around for longer than my old body allows, I replied “yes” & grabbed the log as I heard the word “go”. Some athletes may be put off by being rushed into an event, but if you think about it, all of the nerves from anticipating the start are non-existent. Not to mention, my coach graciously prepares me for such situations, pretty much every time we are in the gym, by asking & saying “go” in the same breath. I often wondered why she even asks...now I know. I managed five solid reps before I heard the fifteen second countdown. Since the placement of the log was slightly downhill & I was taking an extra step forward on the clean, I knew I needed all of the final ten seconds to complete one last rep. I took a big deep breath, grabbed the log, cleaned it, stepped forward, then back, half jerk/strict pressed it overhead, & heard the down command as time was called. I verified with my judge that number six did count & weaved my way through the crowd to where my gear was stashed & my long distance training partner, Joan, & her husband awaited...still trying to catch my breath. Event #1 for United States Strongman Nationals was in the books. 

For the second event, the deadlift bars were stripped of the men’s weight & reloaded with the women’s weight, each plate placed outside of a set of steel wheels that placed the bar around 12” off the ground. For deadlift enthusiasts, who religiously do RDL’s, this placement was money, but for those of us who have close to zero technique & use more back than leg, this height is halfway between a slow, typically not pretty to watch, slightly rounded back pick from the floor & the ever-popular, load up as much weight as humanly possible,16" rack pull. Although deadlift suits were allowed in this competition, and worn by quite a few competitors, I opted to leave that miserable piece of equipment at home. While others struggled to get them on in the Kentucky heat & humidity, I finished off my breakfast & conserved valuable energy. Along with a handful of other competitors, I was sent down to the fourth bar & waited my turn with my trusty leather belt & straps. As I approached the bar to strap in, the judge asked my name & as she verified that I was, indeed, the next competitor, I hear “athletes ready”. The brief conversation with my judge came to an abrupt end as I threw my straps around the bar, just in time to hear the word “go”. I rushed through my set up, drove straight through my quads to lockout, and felt as if my upper back was ripped apart from all angles. This was of no fault to the judge or the quick start, as I mentioned previously, my deadlift is no technical masterpiece. By the next rep, I began to settle into a rhythm, knocking out nine more reps. With ten seconds remaining, fueled by the encouragement of our esteemed USS President, Willie Wessels, I made one final attempt for rep #11, but with a trembling posterior chain, I failed to even pull the slack out of the bar & I released my straps as time was called. As I unbuckled my belt & stepped off the rubber mat, I was pleased with my ten reps, but wondered if it would hold up against my class chalked full of strong deadlifters. 

Following the first two events, as I downed a protein shake & Gatorade, volunteers furiously ran around 4th Street Live switching out logs & deadlift bars for conan's wheels & fingers, each set up being meticulously tested to ensure the safety of the athletes. Now, before I go any further, let me tackle the topic of the scoring. Yes, just like everyone else at the venue, I was glued to my iPhone like a little kid playing Candy Crush, waiting for the live scoring to be updated. Some scores did go up, but none in my weight class, so much like everyone else, I set my phone down & began to prepare for the next two events. Although I did want to know where I stood going into event 3 & 4, as I look back, it was probably better that I didn't. Not having the scores or standings took away any “gaming” that might normally occur during a competition. Instead, every athlete had to go 100% on every single event...kind of a novel idea if you ask me. By the time event 3 was over, the link to the live scoring had been removed. However, if you had Google sheets, the program being used for the scoring, downloaded onto your phone, & were signed in with your username & password, the shared file would automatically be saved. Thus, if any updates did occur, I was able to view them throughout the competition. For the record, most scores were not put in until the competition was over. Although it may have appeared as though USS officials & judges were simply unprepared to use the scoring program, the truth was, as I was later told, the person(s) that were to score the competition had, in fact, been a no-show...leaving the staff to fend for itself. This unforeseen situation caused John Albrecht, USS Vice President, to step out as a competitor & into the role of official scorekeeper, a behind the scenes, very unappreciated job. Without a doubt, there were a few hiccups along the way, but when the dust settled, John did an amazing job & put in countless hours to get every last number correct for 300 plus athletes...and, in my opinion, is deserving of much more than the seamlessly unending requests for the final scores to be posted. Scoring for a small event is no easy task, and if you have never experienced it, I challenge you to step up to the plate at your next local comp & spend the day staring at a computer screen, typing in numbers in hopes that the formulas used to create the score sheet actually work. 

Event #3 for the women took us all back down to the end of the street next to the stage where four Fingal's Fingers laid resting on tires. This was the single event that I had zero experience with, and while training for the comp, purchased a fence post with almost identical dimensions in order to get a feel for the movement. I don't think anyone likes to tackle an unknown event in any competition, let alone at Nationals, so I made do with what I could find. Each finger was loaded with a set of chains to add weight, something you can not do with a fence post. The weight alone forced me, & many other women, to use a continental clean, pulling it just above my belt, then to my shoulders, and finally push pressing it to a locked out position. My primary mistake with my first two flips was trying to clean & press the monstrous pole in one motion. By rushing the shoulder to overhead movement, I caught myself leaning back versus pushing into the finger & wasting valuable time attempting to gain proper position. By the third flip, I had finally learned from my mistakes, but time dwindled down before I could attempt number four. My goal was to finish all five flips, but with zero experience on this particular event, I walked away knowing I did my best. One thing I will add is some valuable advise I got from my coach: once in position, let foot speed, not hand speed, be the determining factor of your flip...move your feet faster like you are running at the finger & your hands will follow. A simple idea that makes a big difference. 

As my energy was starting to die out in the Kentucky heat, I put in a request for Smashburger prior to the fourth event. My long distance training partner’s husband, Will, made the run down the street for me, and basically saved my life before the Conan’s Wheel attempted to take everything I had left & bury me underneath 4th Street. The Conan’s Wheel and I have a long history, as it made an appearance in my first ever competition in 2013. It is not an event you see very often because not many people have the implement hanging out in their backyard. But lucky for me, I train with the 2x World’s Strongest Woman who happens to have one just off of the ½ mile long driveway leading to her house. My experience was never in question for this event, but did I have the mindset that was needed to push through the pain & hold on long enough? On this day, the answer was yes. My coach told me before my final training session that I was going to have to complete four laps, and that was the number stuck in my head from the moment I approached the wheel. I watched most of my competitors complete the event & knew 3 ¼ laps would be enough to take first & 3 ½ would solidify the event win. As I approached the 3 ½ lap mark, I was quickly reminded by a little voice in my head that four was the correct number. It was simple motivation by fear of having to tell my coach I came up short of our goal that pushed me to continue moving, & with my hamstrings beginning to quiver, took an additional three to four steps beyond the four lap mark, before dropping the bar. The additional steps were simply my way of putting the exclamation mark on the challenge that was presented to me. 

Riding the high from event #4, loading four stones to complete the competition seemed like a pretty easy task. The heavyweight masters women were the final female competitors at the end of a line of well over 100 women, quite literally a longer line than I have stood in for any theme park amusement ride, or festival beer vendor. As the line inched along, the highly entertaining masters women remained seated on various implements & stacks of mats & plates, as the younger competitors anxiously remained in a single file line. We laughed & joked our way through the next hour or so, until low & behold the line had dwindled down & we were the only female competitors remaining. I was one of the last few women to approach the platform & found there to be more tacky than any one person would need in a lifetime, and it was everywhere. Strands of tacky were flying through the air, the platforms & spotters were covered, and even the mats on the ground had their fair share. The first two stones went up without a hitch. Due to its odd shape, I took a bit more time lapping the third stone to be sure I had an even grip & didn't drop it. Loading it was a fairly smooth process, and I turned to go the final twenty-ish feet for the 230lb stone. I took way too long to get myself set for something, in my mind, posed a much bigger challenge. Yes, it was heavy, but adrenaline alone lifted this stone to the platform & before I knew it, the 2016 USS Nationals had come to a close. 

Ashley K. Smith

2nd place Heavyweight Masters

Team Jill Mills & USS Texas State Rep

*Although I may have been the one competeing on this day, my second place finish was due to the unending support & guidance of my coach & great friend, Jill Mills. She worked many overtime hours to keep me on the right track both physically & mentally...& I am proud to say that WE placed second at the 2016 USS Nationals. 

PSA: Shoppers

This is a public service announcement for the consumers who stand in endless lines for cheap crap, that no one really needs, or even wants; only to unwrap these items on (insert your chosen holiday) morning, have their eight year old inform them it is cheap crap, and then be forced to join the mass of disgruntled individuals in the endless return lines. <deep breath> Before you "complain to corporate", consider the following:

1. CEO's of retail chains make final, end of the year, last ditch efforts to cut the budget...typically, a quick fix to their bottom line numbers.  Corporate budget cuts will be reflected in retail stores via payroll hours, among other things. Thus, there will be less employees to stand behind a register to return your unwanted items.

2. Manufacturers create products specifically for the holidays.  If you bought something super cheap on black friday, it was more than likely a one-time, limited quantity, never to be seen again, item.  In the retail world, these are called "one-time buys".

3.  Retail associates do not control the inventory supply of one-time buys, or any other products.  If your child, husband, grandma, or house pet broke the item on Christmas morning, it is highly unlikely you will find a replacement.  Thus, save your kind "why don't you have this" for a letter/e-mail to the manufacturer of the product, not the retail associate.

4.  Ever heard the phrase "save your receipt"?  Here is why.  If you do not have a receipt, the POS systems (aka the register) will only credit you for the lowest selling price of the item within the last "so many" days.  Retail associates do not magically "know" the price you originally paid.  Over the holidays, items, especially technology/electronics, are marked down numerous times, and typically cashiers are not permitted to make "guesstaments".

5.  When returning an item, such as a tablet or computer, restore it.  Restore it?  Yes, take the time to look through the instructions, and restore the item to its original default settings...aka the way it was when you opened the box.  This is the only way to delete all of your personal information.  Or leave all of your accounts (ie e-mail, Amazon, iTunes) open for anyone to access...it's up to you.

6.  Tell the truth, keep it simple, get through line quicker.  Endless return lines are only prolonged by ridiculously, non-creative explanations as to how an item was broken, or why it doesn't work.  It takes very little common sense to figure out how a screen got cracked, that you were unable to figure out how to properly connect a router, or the "missing" parts of furniture were actually assembled incorrectly.

7.  Finally, if you feel the need to "call corporate" because you are not "100% satisfied", refused to understand the fairly wide-spread policies and practices of retail chains, or were unable to read the fine print on the back or bottom of your receipt...think about this:  dealing with your complaint is a robotic, non-personal, trail of paperwork that takes one or more retail employees away from providing proper customer service to others.  But if you feel that it is necessary to prove your point, or teach someone a lesson...the retail employee will be more than happy to assist you.

You're welcome :)

Sickness & Strongman

Usually, when I return home from a competition, my body is beat down from the events, heavy weight, and the mental preparation that binds it all together.  This time, however, I have to give credit to a 24-48hr bug that single handedly destroyed every part of my body.  I have fought through many competitive events in my life when I was not 100%...you simply block it out, fight through, and worry about the consequences later.  And with two events to go on saturday, that was my game plan.

Hope for the Holidays 8 was my first United States Strongman competition.  It was also chalked full of record breakers...i.e. if you want your name highlighted in the USS record book, this was the place to be.  Each contestant was able to pick one of two deadlift variations, as well as a clean and press with the log or axle.  (Format: three attempts at the chosen lift to achieve a max, each attempt was one minute in length, failing to complete a lift within the minute allowed = you're done).  The final three events included a short farmers, five tire flips, and an incline log press...the latter being my favorite.

I was more or less tagging along with Jill on this trip, who had been invited to be a celebrity judge at the competition.  Record breaking is not necessarily something that drives me, but a weekend of competition surrounded by top notch athletes in strength sports, well, that does.  It was also a once in a lifetime chance to get to hang out with Willie Wessels, Mike Johnston, and Jill to hear legendary stories, as well as plans for the future of US Strongman. And if you must know, the future looks bright!  This group is, without question, bound by passion, hard work, and love for strongman.

After a short flight to St. Louis, tracking down my luggage, a shooting at the hotel, and an evening at Hooters, I woke up saturday morning with a game plan in mind, and ready to compete.  I opened my axle clean and press at 150lbs, something easy to get on the board. My next attempt at 170 felt solid, even though my overhead lock out was not quite as smooth.  180lbs would have been a PR for me, but my jerk failed twice, the subsequent clean failed, and I called it a day.

Next up was the deadlift.  I did a few warm-up pulls under 300lbs, squeezed into Jill's old squat suit, had Jill pick my opening pull (since I have never pulled conventional in gear, it was a shot in the dark), and easily completed my opener at 325lbs.  My second attempt was somewhere in the 360-70 range, which, thanks to the gear, flew off the floor.  So, with my final attempt, I jumped to 405#.  This is a number I have been chasing for quite some time, and regardless of the gear, I wanted know what 400lbs felt like in my hands.  It felt awesome!

With the max lifts done, I retreated to my space on the gym floor to kick back, throw down a protein bar, and relax before the farmers carry.  I found that I wasn't that hungry, but choked down a few bites before heading to the back gym to check out the tires we were up against in event #5.  The tire weights were not an issue, but a slick floor would turn the driving force behind the flip into a straight deadlift.  No big deal really.

As I geared up for the farmers carry, Jill mentioned that there was an extra pizza from the pizza truck, if I wanted something to eat.  Knowing that I needed some fuel, I agreed, and she brought it over.  Now, I am a pizza hound...but the smell of this thing completely disgusted me.  Less than an hour ago, as I was talking to the strongman doc, I was thinking how good his pizza looked...kinda weird.  Oh well, no time to think, I was up for the farmers...a light, seven second run across the gym.

I was fairly pleased with my run, and already contemplating how I could have made it faster, when this feeling of complete physical exhaustion hit me like a brick wall.  Before I even had time to think, I broke out into a sweat, was light-headed, and nauseous.  I grabbed a bottled water and sat down.  In a matter of minutes, I went from game planning the next event, to wondering if I was going to be able to complete it.  The extent of my mental conversation...it's only five flips, suck it up and do it.  By this time, I was having trouble putting together or conveying a complete thought...my mind was scrambled, I did not have a clue what was going on, but I finished the flips none the less.

The event I was most looking forward to was remaining, the incline log.  I approached the log with the same mindset as the tire...just get through it.  I vaguely remember warning my spotter, Jill, that I felt like crap, and beware of flying vomit.  I grabbed the log, pressed it twice, put it down, dropped to one knee...and wasn't quite sure if I was going to be able to walk away.  One of the last things I remember is Jill telling me to go lay down, stumbling to the other end of the gym, and curling up under some piece of clothing.  Both the contest, and I, were done.

The next twelve hours I have very little recollection of except adding layers of clothing when freezing, and shedding those layers when burning hot...and worrying.  Although my communication skills were left to simple yes and no responses, my mind was running non-stop.  From what the hell is going on...to how am I gonna make a flight the next morning.  But guess what, I had the World's Strongest Woman (and a nurse) looking after me the entire night...there was really no need to worry.

Thanks again Jill!

The Question

What is it like having the 2x World's Strongest Woman (WSW) and world record holding powerlifter, Jill Mills, as your coach?  A question I hear fairly frequently, but honestly, don't think I have ever answered...outside of simply saying "awesome".  So, here ya go...

First things first, your ego must comprehend the fact that there is, and will forever be, only one Jill Mills.  It doesn't matter what you think you can do, how much you think you work, or how good you think you are.  She has, and will, do more, work harder, and be better.  Once you have grasped this concept, as well as understand that her way is better than about 99% of what you think you already know...then, and only then, you just might be able to undertake the task of learning from a legend.  (And for the record, from my own personal experience, letting go of the useless crap that is tucked away in long term memory is no easy task.)

With that being said, there is one more small requirement.  Passion.  The all encompassing word for truly loving your sport...from the hard work you put in, to what you give back (emphasis on giving back).  Jill has a unique passion for her sports, which has resulted in enormous amounts of valuable knowledge.  You may never posses the same passion, or even understand it....but you sure as hell have to appreciate it in someone else.

Two years ago, when I first contacted Jill via e-mail regarding training, her response was almost immediate.  I was scared shitless.  It was one of those moments when you want to travel back in time, slap yourself, and say, "what were you thinking?".  That fear was followed by a multitude of questions, self-doubt if you will.  What was she going to think of a fat, out of shape, recovering alcoholic, has-been athlete?  The answer to that: nothing.  The only judgement came in the form of critiquing my horrible lifting techniques, and the possibility of what could be...not what once was.

From a lifting perspective, I have made some incredible gains.  From an unweighted bar squat, yes, just the bar, to 250lbs.  My all-back 315lb deadlift jumped to 360lbs when I learned to incorporate my posterior chain.  In my first strongman competition, in March '13, the 400lb yoke almost killed me, now, I am working to get quicker with 500lbs.  Hell, I have even grown into a squat suit that Jill let me borrow for a competition in California last year.  I am still trying to decide if fitting into that miserable suit is a good thing though.  However, I can not simply write a blog on numbers.  Her coaching and programing success can be seen in athletes everywhere.

I was only seven months into my sobriety when I started training, still struggling to discover who I really was, and my place in life.  Through lifting alone, I built confidence and began to believe in myself...but my understanding of feelings and emotions was progressing much like a game of Chutes and Ladders (Google it).  Call it luck, coincidence, or meant to be, but
in finding the right lifting coach, I also found a role model for the person I desired to be.

She knew when to encourage, when to guide, and when to let me stand on my own, fail, and learn.  I have tested her coaching skills, her patience, and her tolerance level more times than I even care to count.  But she did not quit, nor throw me out the door...although I am sure the thought has crossed her mind...more than once.  She truly wanted me to succeed, not just in the gym, but in life itself.  There has not been one single day that I have left the gym, if I can physically walk out of the gym, without some new insight...to make me think, and to help me grow.  Every trip to the gym, or barn, or park, or where ever the workout may take me, is a unique opportunity.  You can take these moments for granted, or you can, as Jill likes to say, "embrace it".

Although the 2x World's Strongest Woman may be a living highlight reel of feats of strength, she is first and foremost a wife, a mother, a self-made woman, and a wonderful human being.  In other words, she is a whole lot more than what you see in any thirty second youtube video.  The visible strength is undeniable, but the unseen, internal strength is even more impressive.  Being able to train with and learn from Jill is a privilege...one that I will continue to embrace for years to come.

Strongman 101

The ever popular "steps to success" and "you can do it" articles and blogs have recently cast their shadow in the world of strength sports.  Many being written by so-called, or should I say, self-proclaimed athletes, who are no more athletes than I am a world famous chef.  Everyone, including myself, critiques the uneducated CrossFit coaches that pop up, but the "created by social media"...dare I use the word again...athlete, with their two cent opinions, are being embraced and praised.

So, I figure with one year and four months, and upward of a dozen comps experience, I have just about reached the level of all-knowing veteran. Yes, I am being sarcastic.  But even with my minimal experience, I know the life of a strength athlete is a lot tougher than the picture being painted.  On that note, here is my "life is tough, suck it up" version of a list for Strongman.

1.  Just Commit.
If you want to compete, pay the entry fee, and get to work.  A year and a half ago, I signed up for my first comp with zero knowledge or background in strongman, and did so simply because it looked like fun.  I had just enough time to get some basic "how to" on the different events, and run a yoke...twice.  It has been one tremendous journey since that day, so I say this in the nicest way possible...nut up or shut up.  Fear of failure, or the "it's too heavy syndrome" is just your ego telling you that you do not want to look like an ass in front of a large group of people.  Fellow competitors will have a lot more respect for you if you join them in battle rather than kicking back on the sideline, and/or talking a big game.

2.  Implements & Events Vary.
No matter how much you practice, or how good you become within the comforts of your training space, it is rare to find an exact replica of your equipment at a contest.  Do not be surprised when the yoke is wider, a stone is lop-sided, the axle bar has a fresh coat of paint, etc., etc.  The inconsistencies in the equipment are just as common as a change in the events on the day of the contest.  That is strongman.  Shit happens.  Learn to adapt.  Save yourself, and your fellow competitors, from the on-slaught of excuses that are building in your head by preparing for anything and everything...obviously, within the limits of the equipment that will be provided at the competition.
As far as equipment goes, you need to locate the closest Home Depot, lumber yard, and car salvage facility.  That is it.  If you can find a cheap welder, that is an added bonus!  Almost everything you need to train for strongman can be pieced together in one way or another at a very low cost.  It does not require the mind of an engineer, just a little creativity.  If, by chance, you have money at your disposal, I will be happy to recommend the best equipment manufacturers...as well as a place to store it within walking distance of my house.

3.  Gear.
Knee sleeves, wrist wraps, tacky, and about a million other items are wonderful to have, but are they absolutely necessary...no.  (And yes, I include tacky as optional.  Take the advise of my coach:  Learn to lift stones without it...it will make you better in the long run.)  As with any other sport, these additional items are not cheap.  My personal recommendation is to invest in a good belt, knee sleeves, and several roles of athletic tape to get started.  With competition experience, you will learn what else you might need, or want to invest in.  Truck pulls do not require rock climbing shoes, stone loading does not require stone sleeves, overhead pressing does not require ten ply elbow sleeves...stick with the basics until you have an understanding of the movements of the sport.  With the money you save, you will be able to enter more contests, or travel to a larger one.

4.  Comfort Food.
There are no grass fed, free range, gluten free, non-grain, veggie filled, pop-tarts.  But you will see a lot of them at a competition.  If you haven't noticed by now, strongmen and women eat...a lot.  There are no specific dietary boundaries.  Everything under the sun is free game.  There is no one standing around waiting to ask about your Paleo to cheat meal percentages.  If you choose to consume Big Red Zero and Chunky Chips Ahoy, then so be it.  You eat to fuel your body for a day of competition or training...whatever works, works.

5.  Patience.
You may possess incredible raw strength.  You may be technically proficient.  You may be a great competitor.  You may have the greatest training crew or coach on the face of the planet.  Problem is...can you put all the pieces together for a single sixty second event?  How about five events?  And then what about a two day competition?  Most people are not born with every single factor associated with being a successful competitive athlete.  It takes time, and a whole lot of practice, to develop the physical and mental strength to become more than a weekend warrior.  Most will not achieve over night success, so be patient with your training.  Learn and practice the basic elements of an event, from the actual lifting technique, to transitions, to foot speed.  In other words, check your ego, unload the implement, and do it right, with light weight.  This process will be very beneficial in the long term.

6.  Love or Hate.
If you love strongman, you will know it by the completion of the first event in your first competition, or possibly the first day lifting a stone or carrying a yoke.  It is definitely not a sport for everyone.  Some will fail to find the challenge in it, while focusing on their short-comings.  Some can't handle getting beat up day in and day out.  And others are looking for a pay day, that of which strongman will unlikely provide.  If you love it, you will find any way to train, make room in your training schedule for torturous event days, research every available article and video in order to get better, and possibly employ the help of a coach.  Then, you will spend more time trying to perfect techniques, and alternative ways to train for events for which you do not have proper equipment, than you ever spent studying for high school algebra.  If you hate it, you will turn the overpriced stone you purchased into a yard ornament, and settle for a return to the local globo gym.

7.  Learn.
You live.  You learn.  You fail.  You learn some more.  Not every contest will be your best.  Even if you do come out on top, there will be, in the back of your mind, something you could have done better.  If not, you need to re-read the point I made about checking your ego.  There will always be that one event where you had a specific rep count planned, but you failed to hit it, or a specific time frame in which to finish, but didn't make it.  These are the things that make you better, and push you beyond what you thought was possible.  Embrace the learning curve of failures and mistakes.
Finally, learning the technical aspects of this sport may require a coach of some sort.  If your thinking about hiring one for programming, nutrition, or specific event training...DO YOUR RESEARCH. Hiring someone based on a well-known name, number of contest wins, or the fact that they are strongman certified by a self-proclaimed elite fitness company, does not mean they are capable of educating a tree stump.  Behind the walls of a Google search engine and social media is more info than you truly need to make a well educated decision. Use it.  It is not every day that you find a multi-time world champion, proven programer, and technically proficient instructor, right in your backyard.  But if you do the research, there is no telling what you may find.

Reno/Tahoe

Following a delayed connection in San Diego, I finally reached the once grand city of Reno, Nevada...up to this point, a place I had only heard about in stories.  I loaded up my bags on a hotel shuttle, along with my coach, and a well-known 120lb powerlifter out of Cali, sat back and enjoyed the fifteen minute ride to Circus Circus.

Let me start by saying this...based on the hotel name alone, I expected the worst.  If you have ever been to the one in Vegas, it is pretty damn nasty, and full of screaming kids.  The one in Reno is quite the opposite, except for the kids occupying the game area on the weekends.  I may not recommend Reno as a vacation hotspot, but if you are there, Circus Circus is definitely a highlight.  (I will be waiting on my commission check for that plug.)

Friday morning more than 200 athletes were scheduled to weigh in from 10am to 1pm and 5pm to 7pm.  I made my way downstairs around 9am, knowing there would be a crowd of men and women in the midst of last minute weight cuts.  From the top of the stairs, there were several groups standing around talking, with a line of mostly women woven through the center.  About half way down the stairs, I discovered an additional four to five rows of athletes, seated, facing an empty folding table...most looking completely miserable spitting in cups and wearing more layers than a southerner in a snow storm.

I was greeted with an invitation to the back of the line, as I hugged a fellow competitor from the northwest.  I am sure my face said it all, but glad my thoughts (I am not standing in a fuckin line!) did not come out of my mouth. I spoke to several other strongwomen that I had not seen in a while, then headed back up the stairs to enjoy a big breakfast, leaving behind an enormous crowd of starving athletes, and a two to two and a half hour wait.

Yes, the line to spend two seconds on a digital scale had reached a waiting period that exceeded my tolerance level by about two hours and twenty-seven minutes.  And yes, my breakfast at a cafe inside the casino was delicious.  My coach and I spent about an hour or so after breakfast wandering around the three connected casinos.  I dropped twenty bucks on the upcoming NE Husker game...they were +7 and covered with a five point loss.  My all-time favorite penny slot machine, Texas Tea, stole another twenty, and then paid out $54 on the bonus game.  With an extra fifty in my pocket, that was the end of my gambling for the weekend.

One last check on the line to weigh-in, still 2+ hours, and we were off to rent a car to drive up to Tahoe.  The hike down to the rental company allowed me to see enough of Reno to realize that it has not changed or been updated since the early 70's.  And currently, not a place I would venture out in after dark.  Enterprise hooked us up with a fat red convertible for the day.  A quick stop at the hotel to pick up the most recently named America's Strongest Woman, who had survived the weigh-in, and we were off to Tahoe.

A forty-five minute drive southwest, lined with enormous pine trees and out of season ski slopes, landed us in the town of King's Beach, and on the north side of Lake Tahoe.  Although the roads of this small town were under construction, the waterfront area was very serene.  The ice cold lake was not ideal for your water sports enthusiast, but the backdrop of mountains, one even snow-capped, was a sight-seers dream come true...in the most literal sense.  We snapped a few pictures, loaded up, and headed east to a town appropriately named Incline Village.  The town sits more than six thousand feet above sea level on enormous cliffs, and apparently is known as the tax escape for California's wealthy.

Lakeshore Drive took us through a residential area with scenic views of Crystal Bay.
As we turned back toward the highway, we stumbled on a small shopping strip that included an even smaller restaurant.  However, the five table-top deck out front, nestled under the pine trees, was a huge selling point...that and we were hungry.  Kicking back with a table full of food and good friends in this quiet little town...I could not have asked for a more relaxing and enjoyable day.

The final leg of our afternoon getaway was a windy, and slightly chilly drive on a mountainous road back to Reno.  Once back in the valley, I hit up the 5pm weigh-in...with no wait.  I walked right in, got on the scale, picked up my competitor ID, had my number tattooed on my arm in sharpie, and got a gift bag packed full of four random sample supplements.  The always entertaining, aka filled with dumb questions, rules meeting finished off the day.  All that was left was sleep, and two days of competition.

Nationals: Events

Nine months of strongman preparation all boils down to one weekend.  Past wins, PR's, and personal achievements no longer matter.  If you can't execute in these six events, you go home feeling like you have been run over by a bus, and start the process all over.  For me, it will be three months of strictly training powerlifting (squat, bench, and deadlift), with occasional strongman events thrown in for good measure.  The return to event training will coincide with my first contest of 2015.

I went into this year's competition with much higher expectations of myself, after spending most of 2014 gaining strength in my basic lifts, and working on various event fundamentals.  But as it turns out, I made several small mistakes that dropped me to the back of the pack early.  On the very first event, the press medley, I attempted the light, 125lb, keg clean and press on a slight downhill.  I successfully wasted precious time by throwing myself backward three times...finishing the lift on the third attempt, and leaving myself very little time to get reps on the mini-circus dumbell.  I was able to lock out two reps, but my judge did not allow the second one at the buzzer.  However, one rep still gets points, and keeps you in the game.

Event #2 was a 500lb yoke for sixty feet.  This is one event I had drilled myself with in training, and had no doubt that I could post a solid time.  Well, that did not happen.  I struggled out of the gate, and did not get my shit together until close to the half way point.  My struggle to control the yoke took its toll, and my fatigued body decided dropping the yoke prior to the finish line was a good idea.  Just for the record...it's not.  I finished the event with a less than stellar time, which more than tripled the time of my practice runs.  In the coming year, I will continue to increase the weight and my speed on this event, so I do not repeat this performance.  However, as a side note, at Nationals last year, I made it about eight feet with the same weight...so, I consider sixty feet quite an improvement.

Event #3 was a nightmare-ish carry medley.  Many women were looking forward to this event...I was part of the minority.  My hands pay a hefty price with any carry event, so they are definitely not on my top ten list.  With a sixty foot keg carry at a reduced 150lbs, a forty foot farmers that was no where near the planned 200lbs per hand, and twenty feet of a 225lb duckwalk, I crossed the finish line by bunny hopping the duck walk implement over the line.  Nightmare over.  I am planing to practice heavy kettlebell swings for next season, and launch that damn duck walk implement versus having to walk with it.  Trust me, if it was legal, I would absolutely do it.

The final event of day one was the car deadlift...and a big fat zero on my score sheet.  If I had to pick one event to zero, it would not have been this one.  Dumbell, yes...deadlift, no. I don't use straps often, but for this event, it was a given.  However, I failed to strap my left hand in tight, and paid the price for it.  After such a long day of events, my legs felt solid, but with each attempt, my left strap would slide, and I no longer had a grip on the bar.  At the time, I was pretty pissed off with myself; but deep down, I knew it was a simple mistake that could be fixed.  But I won't lie...it was not easy going to bed that night knowing my goal of a top five finish was officially over...not that it wasn't prior to this event, but a zero pretty much solidified it.

The twelve hour, four event, competition day had drained almost everything out of my body...mentally, physically, and emotionally; but just as it ended, day two began.  As the two-event final day kicked off, I knew climbing out of a hole was not possible against the best of the best at Nationals.  What I did not know, is that the first event would be my best of the weekend.  The sixty foot, 1150lb wheelbarrow pick-up and push was a bit of an untested event...I mean, how many people have 500lb steel wheelbarrows laying around?  I knew the keys would be getting off the starting line quickly, controlling the implement, and not letting go.  Grip was not an issue, I could have held on for a trip around the block.  I guess spending a few dollars on the Iron Mind expand your hand bands after cracking my thumb was worth every penny.  My initial pick up of the weight was a bit slow, but once in motion, I had no control problems, and finished in just over fourteen seconds.

The final event of the competition was throwing, or rather "placing" three kegs of increasing weight over a bar.  The weight of the kegs was dropped by 25lbs a piece to 100, 125, and 150, but the bar was raised to 54".  I was given a nice little tip before the event to turn the handles to the side, allowing for a quicker pick-up.  It definitely saved me a few valuable seconds.  The first two kegs went over in about ten seconds, but the final keg and I battled it out for an additional twenty seconds.  Those little mistakes cost me yet again.

The long two day event to crown America's Strongest was over.  I ended my weekend with two pretty solid performances, going out on a much higher note than the previous day.  My final ranking was fifteen out of twenty-six middle-weights.  There is always so much to think about after a competition like this...but honestly, I am just happy to be able to be among those twenty-six strongwomen.  It was an incredible group of competitors this year.  There are not many times where you can find over fifty women in competition with each other, sharing a small competition space, sharing pain, sharing laughs, that have just one single thing in common...but that is strongman...or, should I say, strongwoman.

Supplement This

Through 25+ years of excessive beer and alcohol consumption, I must now rely on a handful of drugs to get me through a day.  Where I was once a big believer in "sucking it up" at all costs, I now believe getting through and enjoying each day is more important.  If various prescribed medications are required, then so be it.

[On a side note, I actually grew up with an aversion to swallowing pills, and a fear of the effects of medication.  Located above our kitchen sink was the equivalent of a small pharmacy.  My mom was on countless medications throughout her life.  She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when I was in high school, and years prior to that was a human guinea pig for doctors trying to discover the cause of all of her symptoms.  Every morning she would choke down countless pills, some with horrible side effects...and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with anything doctor or pill related.]

Back to the subject at hand, supplements.  I have been critiqued for my muscularity since junior high.  With the amount of steroids I have been accused of taking in my life, I should be dead, broke...or dead-broke.  Since getting back in shape, and strength gains occurring regularly, of course, I must now be back on 'roids, HGH, or just good ole testosterone supplements.  Not quite.  For me, it is all about sweat your ass off hard work.  I have already destroyed my body with one substance, I sure as hell don't need help in that department...nor would I waste my Big Red and cookie money on something I don't need.  But, if you really want to know, here is what I do take on a daily basis...

#1:  Effexor
Here is my what you need to know about anti-depressants:  when you find one that works, stick with it.  These drugs require a tedious trial and error process, and typically several weeks to take effect.  If it does not work, then the process of getting it out of your system begins.  It is a serious pain in the ass.  If I am not mistaken, I had to repeat this process about four times.

#2:  Amphetamine Salts
Like the rest of the world, I am ADHD...of course, mine was not diagnosed until after I stopped drinking.  With meds, I can plan my day, prioritize things, formulate one single thought.  Without meds, there are a million unfinished, varying thoughts and ideas that will pop in my head at any given moment.  I am unable to finish a single task, which quickly leads to frustration, followed by anger, followed by all hell breaking loose.

#3:  Krill Oil
My daily Omega-3.  I always hated fish oil...the fishy taste alone was enough for me to throw them in the trash.  Krill oil provides the same benefits in one pill, with zero fishy taste.

#4:  Digestive Enzymes
I have wrecked my body's ability to properly digest many types of foods.  Without sounding like a high school science book, I basically destroyed the enzymes required to break down the nutrients in food.  Thus, I have to take an enzyme supplement prior eating any size-able meal or snack.

#5:  Aleve
Every athlete's best friend.  During the latter part of the strongman season, this becomes a daily supplement in order to minimize the swelling in my joints.  I only take one, first thing in the morning.  In college, I found myself relying on a much higher dosage of anti-inflammatories, and subsequently ended up with some very memorable stomach issues...thus the reason I keep these to a bare minimum.

#6:  Carbohydrates
No, this is not a joke.  I eat an enormous amount of carbs, and most for a reason.  The short of it...it has to do with low serotonin levels.  I learned the hard way that without carbs throughout the day, which will result in a drop in serotonin levels, I am negatively affected with enough aggression to destroy four aisles of a store in a matter of minutes.  And yes, that did happen, and I did clean it up.

If you are an athlete, you are probably thinking...what about protein?  At this point in my life, I rely on my meals for protein, eggs and meats, no shakes.  When I first got back into shape, I had a hard time keeping weight on, so I did rely on shakes as an extra supplement.  Now, I do not see/feel the benefit of protein shakes as much, so I cut them out of my diet.  And in a nutshell, this is how I live each day.

This is not a recommendation, or a "what you should go out and buy" list.  This is what works for me, and me only.  It has been a learning process spanning two and a half years, as well as an adaptation to the changes that have occurred since giving up booze.  Finding the right mix of meds is not an easy thing to do for an alcoholic, and many give up too soon.  Picking up the bottle again was never really an option for me personally, but initially, I did face a lot of frustration and anger.  Ultimately, being hard headed about staying on track finally paid off.

Unrelenting

Unrelenting:  1. Used to describe someone who does something in a constant and determined way without stopping or becoming less forceful.  2. Not yielding in strength, severity, or determination.

There was a time, not so long ago, when I thought I had finally done just enough to destroy my life; mentally, physically, emotionally...and every other "ally" word you can think of.  But with help, I made a huge change in my life...and I can officially say, I have taken my life back.

This year has been absolutely amazing, and I apologize for not keeping my blog up to date in recent months...especially to those interested in learning what an addict is capable of...if and when they decide to clean up their life.  And yes, it is possible to be successful in recovery.  It is an undefined process of self-discovery, which will redefine everything you once knew.

The biggest key to my success has been finding various hobbies in which I never lose interest.  Strongman and powerlifting have effectively filled that role, with the addition of various creative pursuits geared for down time at home.  From lifting, to writing, to fixing and building things, to drawing, they all share one thing in common...there is no absolute, final end result.  Meaning there are in infinite number of weights to lift, techniques to learn in building and drawing, and subjects to write about.

Up until age 14, I spent hours in the evenings, after it was too dark to play outside, doing creative projects.  I traded my coloring books for a drawing tablet, and sketched whatever came to mind.  One of my favorites to this day is a black and white of Bill Laimbeer, that I replicated from an ad for shaving cream (could have been razors?).  And remember the good old science/social studies fair, in which everyone's mom stayed up late "helping" to finish the project.  Not mine.  I did my project on Abraham Lincoln's assassination.  At age 12-13, I built from scratch...wait for it.......a replica of the scaffolding in which the four individuals charged with the assassination were hung.  I am fairly sure this would not be allowed on school grounds in this day and age, and I would be tagged as a potential serial killer.  But I went into great detail by wrapping my G.I. Joe's in pieces of black trash bag, and using small pieces of twine to hang each one...literally.  To this day, I don't understand why I didn't win. ;)

As I entered my high school years, I abandoned these "outlets".  Although, I am not sure if the increase in the volume of alcohol caused me to lose interest, or I lost interest and then turned to increasing my alcohol.  Who knows?!  But my creative side has definitely returned. Since arthritis, and a broken thumb, continues to decrease the functionality of my hands, I find it increasingly difficult to write, much less draw.  I have, however, found its replacement in a little thing called Photoshop...the touch screen version.

I also love to research (real research, not wikipedia) various topics that catch my interest, especially those with historical significance.  After college, I never thought the word "research" would come out of my mouth again.  But since sobering up, my desire to learn has gone into overdrive.  Filled with so much useless knowledge, I would be an all-star on a high school debate team.  However, as Thomas Jefferson said, "...knolege is power, ...knolege is safety, and...knolege is happiness." (Quick note: the word "knowledge" is intentionally spelled "knolege").

Walk Away?

I have mentioned quite a few times that I walked away from CrossFit shortly after the 2010 Regional competition.  There are a multitude of reasons, including being a drunk, recurring injuries, a loss in confidence, and the missing "fun" element.  These factors, in turn, helped develop a a fat, drunk, depressed, should have been dead months ago, version of me.  But since that is a "me" you can already read about, I want to turn to the less talked about subject, the dilution of CrossFit in general.  It was, without a doubt, the final straw to my ever growing "perfect storm", leading to walking away.

When I joined CrossFit in 2008, I found a small group of people in an even smaller gym (aka box) that shared a passion for being fit.  We had the college football player, the globo gym meathead, the diet/nutrition gurus, the military, the homemaker, and the police.  Individuals would come and go, some because they hated it, others were military families that simply moved away.  But at that time, there was a core group of us that worked out together, learned together, and grew together.  We became close friends, and even a family of sorts.  And most important, we had a ton of fun.

The San Antonio CrossFit community followed a similar pattern.  Gyms began hosting various competitions: outdoor WOD's at Lulu Lemon, Fight Gone Bad, Barbells for Boobs, and the Open WODs.  All of these events brought the athletes closer, and resulted in shared training ideas, insights into different techniques, and new friendships.  Then it happened.  In what seemed like a matter of days, someone would open their own gym...and another...and another.  At that time, all of the new gyms were a direct result of the love of Crossfit.  There was only one gym that opened based on greed and a love for the almighty dollar.  Funny thing is...anyone within a sixty mile radius knew about this person, and what she truly stood for...so, lets just say, her gym was not known for its success rate.

This once budding city-wide CrossFit community quickly became saturated with gyms, which sent owners into survival mode, and caused athletes to retreat behind the doors of their respective gym.  One of the first examples of this came in the second season of the CrossFit Open.  One year prior, gyms around the city hosted the open WODs...together.  Each WOD was held at a different gym, and athletes from the majority of competing gyms would attend.  It was always a fun atmosphere and truly showed a community spirit as coaches and athletes supported competitors from all gyms.  By the time season two of the Open began, fewer athletes were in attendance, gym owners couldn't agree on locations, and everyone turned to completing the workouts in the comfort of their home gym.  Done deal.  For several years, the San Antonio CrossFit community also gathered for an anual Fight Gone Bad event. The final year of this event was held in large parking lot, located in a prime location on Loop 410.  It was a huge success with most of the area gyms in attendance.  There were close to two dozen tents set up, including one that housed kegs of beer...which made for a great after party.  Of course, San Antonio crossfitters, including myself, were pretty well known for epic after parties.

Since the good ole years, CrossFit has sold their soul to Reebok, the number of "certified" coaches has surpassed the reproduction rate of rabbits, and gyms have popped up on every street corner...the latter two causing an epic dilution in the quality of CrossFit across the city.  There are very knowledgable and caring coaches, and programmers that have opened gyms post-Reebok.  But sadly, the good is outweighed by the bad...those that have the expendable income, but do not posses the knowledge to teach, much less correct a basic squat.

We have also seen the closing of two of the original gyms, including the one that started my CrossFit journey.  The old days of WODing with athletes from other gyms, joining forces to create fun competitve environments, and simply chillin' with San Antonio crossfitters, with very few exceptions, has come to a grinding hault. With growth, there has come separation.  With separation, there has become a dividing line.  A line that dictates your learning curve, your trainging regimen, your social network, and your support system.  And in a lot of cases, if you cross that line, don't bother looking back...you are no longer welcome.

I am the type of person, athlete, and former CrossFit coach that enjoyed and appreciated the comradery that existed across the city.  At competitions, I could be found discussing strategy with any coach or hanging out with "rivals" within the confines of their tent.  If I needed help with a movement or access to specific equipment, I would never hesitate to contact someone else in the community...outside of my gym.  Although I am much more of an outsider now, choosing to compete in strongman and powerlifting, I will still attend Regionals in order to support the best athletes in San Antonio and their quest for the Games.  And as athletes are huddled up with their safety net of coaches and supporters, sporting t-shirts in the gym colors, I will happily step across the line, sit down, and catch up with old friends....more than likely wearing my neutral black colored Afro Brutality gear.

Women of Strength

It was an EPIC weekend!

Jill Mills, my coach, and legendary strongwoman and powerlifter, hosted a womens only, two day strength clinic.  It was the culmination of decades of knowledge, and one person willing to share her experiences, successful lifting techniques, and strategies to nine women with a passion for strength based sports.  If you are one of those athletes that think you have it all figured out...well, you were not invited anyway.  But if, like me, you constantly strive to be better and desire to increase your knowledge at any given chance, this clinic was the place to be.

Yes, I spend three, sometimes four days a week training the fundamental lifts and strongman events with Jill.  But passing up a learning opportunity like this would just be plain stupid.  It would be like telling Pat Summit or Martina Navratilova, I don't think I could really gain anything from your years of experience and success.  I know there are plenty of athletes and coaches that have that mind-set, but I am not one of them.

The weekend provided a unique opportunity to not only receive instructional tips, but also observe various teaching techniques geared toward experienced lifters and newbies alike.  How to make simple corrections, to what to look for in technique flaws and how to correct them, it was all available right in my own training facilities...and for once I was not the only test dummy.

Our first day was spent at Olympic Gym breaking down technique on the major lifts in powerlifting as well as an introduction to accessory exercises.  Every athlete in attendance was provided the opportunity to have their lifts critiqued and corrected.  We also covered Jill's programming, which I can personally attest to its success rate.  But the best part of day one was simply getting to know the other women.  Jill pointed out the comradery that exists within the women's strength community...and without a doubt, she is absolutely correct.  In my short time in competition, the extended strongwoman family has proven to be a loving, caring, and a giving community.

On day two, we all made the road trip south of San Antonio to the barn.  Home of the best collection of strongman equipment with more space than we had at last years national competition.  Not to mention, my favorite place to escape to on sunday nights and throw around heavy objects.  We tackled every major strongman event, and then some, with Jill providing the details on everything including grip, footwork, speed, bar placement...you name it.

By the end of the weekend, some found confidence in lifting heavy, others new techniques to work on, but we all went home with new members to add to our strongwoman family, and a ton of knowledge that only a legend could provide.  As exhausted as I was by sunday night, I would have done it all over again starting monday morning.  Yes, it was that good.

Arthritis

I beat the hell out of my body in college.  My roommate and I used to jokingly bet on who would be in a wheelchair first, as we would pop handfuls of anti-inflamatories after a game.  I am proud to say that neither one of us has the bragging rights just yet.

I played small college sports, no scholarships, just bust your ass because you love your sport.  And that I did.  I escaped college with only two "major" injuries...a broken wrist and a scratched cornea.  If you don't think the latter is a "major" injury, you have obviously never experienced it.  I would take multiple broken bones any day rather than having to experience that again.

I was an aggressive player.  I was the player that would dive, fall, or run into a brick wall for a loose ball.  And when you play three different competitive sports, concentrated in the fall semester, your body pays a huge price.  In addition, most of my years were spent playing basketball on concrete floors.  Wood floors were a novelty in the late 80's and early 90's, and I did not get to consistently play on one until I transferred to Dallas in the mid 90's.   Imagine hitting the pavement eight to ten times a day for ten years.  I cringe just thinking about it now days.

During my final season at Dallas, I had my hand x-rayed because of a swollen and badly bruised finger.  Although my finger was in one piece, the doctor noticed that I was already showing signs of arthritis in my hand.  At the time, that meant absolutely nothing to me.  All I cared about was playing in the upcoming game.  My grandfather had always struggled with rheumatoid arthritis, so, I was well aware what it was capable of doing to the body.  I just chose to ignore it.

Years after college, I dealt with lots of hip, lower back, and knee pain that I attributed to years of playing ball...and getting older.  When I returned from the CrossFit Games in 2009, I could no longer ignore the pain in my left knee and finally went to see an orthopedic.  Following a series of x-rays, he informed me what was causing the pain.  Osteoarthritis.  Basically, the cushioning in my knee had deteriorated to the point where bone spurs were now growing in its place.  These friendly jagged little pieces actually think they are helping the situation by increasing the surface area of the knee cap.  I hate to break the bad news, but they only cause more problems.

My knee issues only worsened as time wore on.  I could no longer even sit on the toilet without one of those damn bone spurs catching and causing pain.  And squatting was forever out of the question (or so I thought).  I found no relief through the supplementation of glucosamine/chondrition, but low and behold, beer sure did help!  So, I drank more to mask the physical pain as well as the emotional.  No exercise + a shit ton of alcohol = gaining a ton of weight, which also = more joint pain.  Before I knew it, sleeping was even painful...and getting out of bed was worse.

Fast forward to my new sober life, down fifty pounds, and lifting more than ever...how is it all possible with arthritis?!  After losing the first twenty pounds and regaining some muscle mass, I began to notice that getting up in the morning was not as big of an issue.  With the help of my coach, I learned how to squat correctly, gained strength around the area causing the majority of the problem, and bone spurs or not, the pain has subsided and is much more manageable on a daily basis.  My beat up hands have followed suit.  Although my job is pretty demanding on my hands, the increase in strength through lifting has proved as effective, if not more effective, than relying on pain meds.

My hips are a slightly different story.  It has been the slowest of slow climbs to gain hip strength.  Although I no longer sleep in pain, spending too much time laying in bed or sitting on the couch will cause pain.  So, don't get offended if I decline your offer to sit down, standing and moving around is much more tolerable.

When people are diagnosed with this, the most common form of arthritis, it becomes a choice as to how you deal with it.  Yes, it is painful.  But it is almost intolerably painful when you become sedentary.  Weight gain or muscle gain is very much a determining factor of the level of pain.  And yes, exercise is painful, but the benefits far outweigh the alternative.  The term fat and happy does not exist when you throw arthritis into the equation.  I have lived both lives, and turned to medicating myself first, which did not work.  Exercise does work.  It is solely your choice.  I choose to battle it head on and live in a lot less pain.

Working

Whew!  My days have been pretty busy lately.  Outside of my usual job, working out, and training clients, I have been working on developing my website, creating t-shirt designs, and occassionally adding more to my book.  I am not much of a computer person, or I should say sitting in a chair staring at a computer screen is not my thing.  If I can sit still for more than fifteen minutes, it is a miracle.  So, I am pretty thankful for my mini ipad...without it, I am not sure if I would get any thing accomplished.

As I have said many times, I wasted a lot of opportunities as a drunk.  I am determined not to let that happen ever again in the time I have left on earth.  My goal is not necessarily leave a legacy or become a household name.  I just want to know that I have made a difference.  Like most people, if I can help one person avoid the pitfalls of addiction, get in better shape, or simply help someone gain more confidence, then I consider that success!

So, about two days ago I launched an all inclusive website.  It is not complete by any means, but the basics are there, and it is a starting point in my journey to make a difference as well as educate.  And yes, you can consider this a shameless plug to get a few visitors to the page.  And it may not be the last one.  Hey, at least I am giving you a heads up on the plugs. :)

Without further ado, and more rambling...here is the link:

www.stronger-than-yesterday.com

As I said, it is a work in progress, and you will see constant changes until I get everything exactly the way I want it...which could be an endless task, because I am sort of a perfectionist when it comes to creative designs.  With that being said, feel free to let me know what you think, or if there are specific things you would like to see!

Washington: Strongman Sunday

Before I sit down and write about my awesome road trip to the Northwest, I figured I would begin with a blog about the sunday strongman competition at RAB Fitness, the competitive reason I traveled over 4000 miles in one weekend.  By 9am on sunday morning, over 50 strongmen and women had weighed in, rehydrated, refueled, and now gathered at the front of the gym waiting for the rules meeting.  Competitors in grey, judges in red, Mike Kromer explained how the day was going to go, where the events were going to take place, and the standards for each event.  The mass of strong people then proceeded to the adjacent room to get individual measurements for the first event, the tire squat.

I spent much of the morning debating whether to use wraps or knee sleeves for the squat. For me, a 256lb squat is a bit out of my range, but I also did not want my legs to cave like a new born deer on the first event of the day.  My debate ended when HW competitor Kristy Scott pulled out a pair of SBD knee sleeves, and told me to try them.  I came close to not giving them back.  Although I knew 256lbs would have been a 50lb PR, I did not back down or scratch the event....miracles do happen.  Ok, maybe not on this day, as I took a zero for the event.  I must have missed the portion of the rules that said you have to stand up with the bar in order for the rep to count.  On to the deadlift medley!

Starting a competition with a big fat zero is not optimal, but I was pretty confident going into event #2, the deadlift medley.  Four bars (a 283 axle bar, a 365 trap bar, a 411 bar with tires, and a 500 frame) were lined up across the gym floor.  The only pull I had little experience with was the frame, but I knew it would be doable.  I was the first middle weight to attempt the event.  The axle went up fairly easy, the trap bar was a bit of a slow pull off the floor, and I hitched the crap out of the tires.  With plenty of time left on the clock, I still managed to rush my set up on the frame, didn't tighten my straps well, and just before lock out lost my grip on the right side of the frame.  With 15 seconds remaining, I reset my stance but had nothing left to even budge the frame.  But I did set the pace by completing 3 out of the 4 lifts, which would only be surpassed by one competitor.

The third event made me a bit nervous, a max clean and press on the log.  I train with a 10" log, and let me tell you, the 2" difference from a competition log is HUGE.  I knew the 130lb starting weight would make it overhead, so there would be no zero score for this event.  As the LW women finished the event, the log was loaded to a starting weight of 140lbs.  Hold the damn phone.  140lbs??  It is one of those mid-comp, mess with your mind kind of changes, but none the less, I was able to get the bar overhead.  Only one competitor completed the lift at 150lbs.

For the next event, a medley, there were three implements staggered at different lengths, all to be loaded onto a small platform and a long 410lb sled drag to the finish.  I knew there would be quicker competitors, the words "Ashley" and "quick" are not synonymous, so I decided to find a good pace and stick with it.  With the constant encouragement of my judge, Grant Higa, I never stopped moving and completed just over twenty feet on the sled portion...good enough for a first place finish.

My first place finish allowed me to go last in the final event, the atlast stones.  There were five stones ranging from 140lbs to 230lbs, all to be loaded to a 51" platform.  At this point, I knew that the only stone that could pose a problem would be the final 230lber, and I just hoped my adrenaline would fuel me enough to eclipse the 51 inches.  I moved through the first four stones in twenty-one seconds but fell short of the platform three times on the final stone.  With Mike Kromer in my ear telling me I needed to move faster, I was able to win the event by two seconds.

As I stood in the freezing weather in a sports bra and tight shorts, removing spider tack from my hands, I realized that regardless of my zero score on the squat, I was pretty happy with my overall performance.  And as my coach, Jill Mills said via text, "nice comeback".  In the final standings, I remained in third place.  The points I lost on the first event were too much to overcome...and for what its worth, one single squat would have landed me in a tie for first.  But I can not look back at what could have happened, only move forward and squat my ass off until my next competition...a return to my first competition ever, Texas Strongest Man/Woman!

Thank you RAB Fitness, Mike and Lisa Kromer, and Roger and Ally Baker for an amazing weekend of lifting!!!

New Adventures

I am one of the lucky ones.  I escaped addiction.  In March of 2012, I hung up my frosty beer mug for good. In doing so, I closed the book on a 25+ year journey of covering up all the emotions, losses, and painful aspects of life; and in turn, built a brand new path toward the unknown.

The unknown has had its share of pain, a tremendous amount of learning, and some speed bumps that could drop the transmission out of a small car.  But I have taken every step and, at times, hung on for dear life.  With the help of a wonderful support crew, my windy and bumpy path has been lighted with purpose and evolved into a much more manageable road.  Every day is a new adventure and I truly look forward to waking up, watching the sun rise, and tackling every thing that comes my way.

I have also found a passion, the same one that began to fade just prior to the 2009 CrossFit Games.  My passion was renewed in October of 2012 when I met a trainer that has lived the positive and negative of life and sports...and embraced it all.  It is a lifestyle that I once could not begin to comprehend.  It began with the "simple" goal of lifting heavy, and by March of 2013, turned toward becoming the best lifter and strongwoman I could possibly be.  Yes, it can be considered a hobby, but to me, it is much more.  Lifting has become a part of my life that has provided purpose, goals, job opportunities, and numerous friendships.

During the summer of 2013, I went way out of my comfort zone by traveling to California to compete in a strongwoman contest.  Although I was disappointed with my performance, I came away with a bigger understanding of myself than I could ever imagine.  I also met people that shared my passion.  One of those friendships has led me to a competition in south central Washington.  My roomate in California was such a warm, caring, and all around wonderful person, that I did not hesitate to book my flight to the north in the dead of winter.  And I am not a fan of freezing temperatures.  The competition itself includes events that are heavy, and for the most part, completely out of my wheel house.  So why am I going?  To reconnect with a family of strongwomen that have positively impacted my life, and to meet the rest of the women that make up this one of a kind group.  Don't get me wrong, I am not traveling that far to lose.  But in the midst of competition, there is something greater to embrace.  If by chance I do get my ass handed to me, then I know I will be returning home with new life experiences and a larger strongman/woman family.  And I am sure new event techniques to work on and strategies to contemplate.

With that being said, I have about four loads of laundry to finish and a bag to pack.  I plan to post a competition recap when I return...provided my warm weather ass doesn't freeze to death. :D

Writing & Strongman

Ok...I have to apologize to those of you who actually read, and possibly enjoy my blog.  I have flat out been a complete slacker when it comes to blogging.  However, since I know readers have more interest in the posts about my alcoholic life and recovery, you will be happy to know that a lot of my writing has been put toward my book.  And I would hate to ruin the entire thing by posting it all here.  Although at some point, I am sure that will happen.

As far as the book goes, it is coming along.  I have written so much about my life in various computer files, handwritten journals, and on scraps of paper, it is just taking time to put it all together...and decipher my crappy handwriting.  I have also been debating about how much of my childhood to include.  Obviously, that time period has a lot to do with why I started drinking, as well as why it progressed rather rapidly.  But, much of the debate lies in how much to write about my family's influence without making it sound like the blame falls entirely on them.  Beyond that, there is this tiny problem called sobriety.  It seems that at least once a week some long lost memory makes a return...some happy, others not so much.  But, all for better understanding my drunk life; much like putting together a puzzle that has an infinte number of pieces.

If I have never mentioned it, I was, post-drunk life, diagnosed with ADHD.  Alcohol actually helped me slow down my mind in order to see the big picture and focus on the tasks necessary to reach the finish line.  So, if you can imagine, I have a ton of topics regarding my alcoholism that have a few great paragraphs....and no ending.  The same can be said about my blogs. I guess I need to do more writing during the day when my meds are working.  :))

Outside of writing, the strongman competition season is in full swing.  Two weeks ago, I traveled to Longview, Texas for my first comp of the season, and came away with a first place finish and a free pass to Nationals.  It was no where near the weight that I will encounter in upcoming comps, but it was a lot of fun and a great place to meet more strongmen and women.  Intersestingly, there was a crossfit comp going on in the same building.  Throughout our events, we had more and more crossfitters coming over, watching the events, and asking questions.  If any of that interest is molded into a new strongman competitor, I would call that success.

Right now, I am preparing for my next comp in Washington hosted by a friend of mine and her husband.  As I have said before, I am really looking forward to it, but have a lot of prep work left to do...and two weeks to get it done.  Onward and upward!!

Twenty Thirteen

2013 was a phenomenal year!  It was my first full calendar year clean and sober.  And with all of the wonderful drunken holidays, oh hell, who am I kidding...every day used to be a good day to drink.  But without alcohol, I have seen and experienced so many changes in my life...all for the better.  I would have never thought or said that at the beginning of 2012.  If nothing else, I truly believe I have become a more well rounded and better person in general.

It was a year filled with many emotional ups and downs, but instead of picking up a bottle of booze, I chose to face each moment head on.  There have been plenty of learning experiences, such as my trip to California, where I was so overcome with emotion from simply getting on a plane, and having so much support for my endeavours, that it became impossible to perform my best in competition.  But given time to reflect, the competition was only a small part of why I was on that trip in the first place. The kindness and generosity shown to me by the strongman community far outweighs bringing home a duffle bag full of free stuff...although, the duffle bag was pretty cool!  And I can't even begin to explain everything I learned about myself in one blog.

The year was also full of physical changes that were not necessarily in my original game plan, but game plans have a tendency to change by halftime anyway.  I really didn't have any specific goals, except to lift heavy (and never, ever squat again).  After my first strongman competition in March, all of that changed.  Strongman competitors are passionate about what they do; not for the all mighty dollar (with the exception of a select few), but for the love of the sport.  With each contest came bigger goals, and the desire to learn anything and everything about the upcoming events; which also meant facing the challenge of changing all of my lifting techniques...starting from scratch.  But hey, how hard can it be after deciding to start my life over.  I will be able to answer that in 2018...if I am lucky. :)

So, on the final day of 2013, I thank everyone that has been a part of my journey.  From the simple words of encouragement, they mean the absolute world to me; to those who have guided me on this windey ass road, I will never stop listening and learning; and to those who are a part of my daily routine of work, lifting, and enjoying life.  It will be difficult to top this amazing year, but I will do my best.  My journey is far from over.  I still have a lot to learn, even more weight to lift, and definitely more writing to do!

LIVE, LOVE, & LIFT in 2014!

Free Time

So, now that you are sober, what the heck do you do with all your free time?  I know, personally, that thought crossed my mind quite a few times, especially in my early days of sobriety. By now, if you have read any of my blogs, you know that lifting is my passion, obsession, and non-paying side job.  The one thing that helped bring me back to life!  But honestly, lifting was not even in my thought process during my first weeks of sobriety; a time when there is a necessity to fill the gaps between work and sleep.

I was told multiple times by more than one person, you need to find a hobby.  Hobby?  My hobby was sitting on a barstool!  Although true, that answer did not get me very far in my new way of living.  Sitting on a barstool drinking diet soda will only make you the butt of every drunk guy's jokes.  I know because I tried it.  So, the next best item on the list was sports and lifting.

At first, I was pretty well set, and in fact, happy with my decision to never touch a weight again.  It brought back to many memories of perceived failures.  I went from being a top area crossfitter to an unhappy, over-weight crossfit coach...a transformation paved by injuries, depression, and lots of alcohol.  So, in my mind, a return to lifting would bring failure.  And failure would ultimately lead me back to alcoholism.  Drinking was the only way I knew how to deal with those situations.

Ulitimately, you do have to find something to fill those moments of boredom, aka put something in your hands besides drugs or a cold one.  And the sooner the better.  For me, it took some convincing that failure was not directly related to any type of athletic endeavour.  The most important thing to remember is that alcoholism is a disease; a preoccupation with a substance, lack of control, and a way to hide from the world.  So, I started with early morning rowing workouts, and the rest is history.  There are many people that use lifting as a way to relieve stress, but I use it for pure enjoyment and peacefulness.  It helps me clear my mind, re-focus my energy, and reach for goals that don't include an eighteen pack.

It is hard enough to try and help someone turn away from a life long addiction, but helping someone stay sober is more or less a monumental task.  There are typically multiple emotional responses that trigger the knee jerk reaction to reach for a beer or a bottle of pills.  Addicts have to have something else to reach for...a book, pen and paper to write, music, or a stack of weights.  Finding that one hobby is essential in the recovery process.  And it doesn't have to be something your good at, or used to enjoy.  If your chosen hobby is something new, you will have plenty of time to perfect it.  In addition, my last year of competeing in strongman and powerlifting has taught me how to deal with a lot of emotions, ups and downs, that I would have previously tucked away in a bottle of beer.  It hasn't been easy, in fact, a lot has been pretty hard, but it has all been well worth the fight.

FYI...I really wanted to answer the initial question with "I'm going to Disney World". ;)

Non-Traditional

Gone are the days of the cheap plastic snowman on the front porch, faded orange lights in the windows made to look like candles, the boxes and boxes of meaningless Hallmark collectable ornaments, and the extra creepy angel with bed head that topped our tree.  It was all very materialistic for the most part.  Christmas still has plenty of meaning without these things.

Since high school, fall and winter holidays were more about spending quality time with friends and coaches.  Commiting yourself to a sport, specifically basketball, meant that these holidays fell right into a big holiday tournament or the tune-up games before conference play started (the games that really count).   As a collegiate coach, holiday tournaments were the optimal recruiting tool; which meant hitting the road to see as many players as possible before the team returned to campus.

In college, I learned to appreciate the non-traditional holiday festivities.  One year I was stuck on campus due to really large chick from Trinity University clocking me in the eye.  My vision was so blurred, I was unable to make the three hour drive home.  A teammate invited me to her apartment, where her parents delivered some of the best homemade South Texas food I have ever had.  Being stuck in Gettysburg, Pa during grad school, I enjoyed a traditional meal with my roommate's girlfriend (now wife) and her family, and then traveled back to G-Burg to see Toy Story at the movie theater.  A movie?? Unheard of in my family.

And gifts...well, I always got loads of crap for Christmas, nothing memorable, with the exception of the one present I received from my grandparents every year.  They worked hard for every dime they earned, and the fact that they would save up to spend money on me, well, it made every gift special.  The year that my grandfather declared that my bike from Santa was the hardest thing to put together still makes me smile...Santa delivered it built.  The only other thing I truly enjoyed was hanging the house lights with my dad.  It was the one on one time, once a year, that I cherished...especially since it was a rarity.

Now days, the tree, collectable ornaments, and lights stay packed away in the attic.  As long as I have the one person that means the world to me by my side, and the zoo of animals, I don't need all those other things.  And I don't need a specific holiday to appreciate what I have.  In the last eleven years, every holiday has been different...from cooking a turkey on an open fire at the Frio River and making a tree out of beer caps, to eating tamales at the lake house and smoking a Liga cigar, to doing absolutely nothing.  Each and every holiday is just as special as the last...no decorations required.

Bend the Bar

Imagine for a moment:
Sixty or so people gathered around the platform, most have their phones in hand with cameras turned on...your name is announced, you wait at the back of the platform, hands chalked up...the bar is loaded and lowered to the floor...the judge lets you know the platform is ready, his hand is raised in the air...the crowd starts to cheer and yell your name...your eyes lock in on the bar, you take three steps to the bar and set your feet, you quickly bend and set your grip...you take a big deep breath and begin to pull.

With 551# loaded on the bar, an all-time world record is now in your hands.....

(Insert the sound of screeching tires)

Yeah, I was good with the visualization right up until the 551 pounds.  I was one of the people in the crowd with my phone in hand and cheering loudly.  And I have realistic goals, which currently do not include that kind of weight or any world records.  Maybe some day.

At 41 years of age, Jill Mills made the most amazing deadlift attempt I have ever seen.  It is one pull that people will talk about for months...maybe longer.  Since the video and pictures have made it to the masses via Facebook, you probably know that the bar slipped out of her hands just shy of a full lockout.  I watched the live version and have since watched the video at least twenty times.  And each time, I quietly cheer for her to lock it out and set the record...like it is all happening for the first time. Even though the lift will not go into any record books, it was one hell of an ending to a long meet!

The best thing about it...officially retired or not, Jill is not done.  Call it a comeback, call it perfect timing, call it what you want...but that record will be broken in the upcoming year.  And personally, I can not wait to see it!!!

If you have not seen the lift, here it is...

http://youtu.be/Vq4_wIuWFkE

Kids do not try this at home...no matter how strong you think you are, you are not Jill Mills.