Women of Strength

It was an EPIC weekend!

Jill Mills, my coach, and legendary strongwoman and powerlifter, hosted a womens only, two day strength clinic.  It was the culmination of decades of knowledge, and one person willing to share her experiences, successful lifting techniques, and strategies to nine women with a passion for strength based sports.  If you are one of those athletes that think you have it all figured out...well, you were not invited anyway.  But if, like me, you constantly strive to be better and desire to increase your knowledge at any given chance, this clinic was the place to be.

Yes, I spend three, sometimes four days a week training the fundamental lifts and strongman events with Jill.  But passing up a learning opportunity like this would just be plain stupid.  It would be like telling Pat Summit or Martina Navratilova, I don't think I could really gain anything from your years of experience and success.  I know there are plenty of athletes and coaches that have that mind-set, but I am not one of them.

The weekend provided a unique opportunity to not only receive instructional tips, but also observe various teaching techniques geared toward experienced lifters and newbies alike.  How to make simple corrections, to what to look for in technique flaws and how to correct them, it was all available right in my own training facilities...and for once I was not the only test dummy.

Our first day was spent at Olympic Gym breaking down technique on the major lifts in powerlifting as well as an introduction to accessory exercises.  Every athlete in attendance was provided the opportunity to have their lifts critiqued and corrected.  We also covered Jill's programming, which I can personally attest to its success rate.  But the best part of day one was simply getting to know the other women.  Jill pointed out the comradery that exists within the women's strength community...and without a doubt, she is absolutely correct.  In my short time in competition, the extended strongwoman family has proven to be a loving, caring, and a giving community.

On day two, we all made the road trip south of San Antonio to the barn.  Home of the best collection of strongman equipment with more space than we had at last years national competition.  Not to mention, my favorite place to escape to on sunday nights and throw around heavy objects.  We tackled every major strongman event, and then some, with Jill providing the details on everything including grip, footwork, speed, bar placement...you name it.

By the end of the weekend, some found confidence in lifting heavy, others new techniques to work on, but we all went home with new members to add to our strongwoman family, and a ton of knowledge that only a legend could provide.  As exhausted as I was by sunday night, I would have done it all over again starting monday morning.  Yes, it was that good.

Non-Traditional

Gone are the days of the cheap plastic snowman on the front porch, faded orange lights in the windows made to look like candles, the boxes and boxes of meaningless Hallmark collectable ornaments, and the extra creepy angel with bed head that topped our tree.  It was all very materialistic for the most part.  Christmas still has plenty of meaning without these things.

Since high school, fall and winter holidays were more about spending quality time with friends and coaches.  Commiting yourself to a sport, specifically basketball, meant that these holidays fell right into a big holiday tournament or the tune-up games before conference play started (the games that really count).   As a collegiate coach, holiday tournaments were the optimal recruiting tool; which meant hitting the road to see as many players as possible before the team returned to campus.

In college, I learned to appreciate the non-traditional holiday festivities.  One year I was stuck on campus due to really large chick from Trinity University clocking me in the eye.  My vision was so blurred, I was unable to make the three hour drive home.  A teammate invited me to her apartment, where her parents delivered some of the best homemade South Texas food I have ever had.  Being stuck in Gettysburg, Pa during grad school, I enjoyed a traditional meal with my roommate's girlfriend (now wife) and her family, and then traveled back to G-Burg to see Toy Story at the movie theater.  A movie?? Unheard of in my family.

And gifts...well, I always got loads of crap for Christmas, nothing memorable, with the exception of the one present I received from my grandparents every year.  They worked hard for every dime they earned, and the fact that they would save up to spend money on me, well, it made every gift special.  The year that my grandfather declared that my bike from Santa was the hardest thing to put together still makes me smile...Santa delivered it built.  The only other thing I truly enjoyed was hanging the house lights with my dad.  It was the one on one time, once a year, that I cherished...especially since it was a rarity.

Now days, the tree, collectable ornaments, and lights stay packed away in the attic.  As long as I have the one person that means the world to me by my side, and the zoo of animals, I don't need all those other things.  And I don't need a specific holiday to appreciate what I have.  In the last eleven years, every holiday has been different...from cooking a turkey on an open fire at the Frio River and making a tree out of beer caps, to eating tamales at the lake house and smoking a Liga cigar, to doing absolutely nothing.  Each and every holiday is just as special as the last...no decorations required.

Reasoning

When alcohol rules your life, reasoning skills simply do not exist.  The most primary example is being offered one more drink, even though you are already obliterated, and responding with "sure, why not".  For me and my lack of reasoning, I would never turn down a round of brew, especially fresh draft beer in a tall frosty mug.  I was not going to be the one to end the party, or be the first to go home, or for that matter let someone else out drink me. 

There is scientific proof that reduced brain function, while under the influence, inhibits reasoning skills.  Well, no shit right?!  I, myself, have been behind the wheel of a car drunk more times than I can count.  I have also done more stupid things on a seconds notice, usually with money or some kind of bet involved, than I care to admit.  I have gotten into fights, arguments in which I couldn't even recall the subject matter, and have been kicked out of bars all because of over consumption of alcohol lead to poor decision making...or better yet the inability to make a reasonable decision.  And of course, I have woken up in places thinking "where the hell am I".

So how do you, as a loved one or family member, deal with an addict's lack of reasoning?  Tough question with an even tougher answer.  Honestly, you can't.  The age old solution of trying to reason with an addict should at this point be thrown out the window. It is not that they do not care about the people they are hurting.  It is an unintentional consequence of excessive use of the drug of choice.  They simply lack the skill set to make a reasonable choice.  Whereas most of us wake up thinking about breakfast, an addict wakes up in the morning with one thing on their mind...how can I get a quick buzz and make my life tolerable again.

Every addict drinks for a reason, and it is not because they love the taste of alcohol. It is primarily for the buzz...the inevitable disappearance of reality.  As for me, mine was based a lot in my childhood.  I used alcohol to make feelings disappear and create a happier life that did not truly exist...as well as to appear to friends that everything was perfect.  Others over indulge in alcohol to "overcome" loss of loved ones, to deal with or actually not deal with family issues, or to avoid remembering something that is eating away at them on the inside.  The list could go on forever.  In my opinion, the first step is to find the root of the problem.  As easy as this may sound, the root may be burried so deep, the addict may not even be able to define it themselves.  It took me months of counseling before I was able to identify, at least in part, why I turned to drinking as a solution.

So if you are looking for a quick or immediate, definitive solution, you are probably more likely to win the lotto.  The one and only thing I have found to have any percentage of success is support and love.  As frustrating as it may be to all parties involved, support for an addict, through the bad times and the even worse times, gives the addict options...one being hope.  With support and love, comes a sense of trust, and with trust comes the possibilty of opening up about the root of the problem.  And all of these combined begins a healing process for everyone involved.

This is not an overnight solution.  It is only the beginning of a long journey; think of it as a climb up Mt. Everest.   Until that one day arrives, where the weather is perfect, and the people climbing are 100% invested, only then will the summit be reached.  But please, don't give up, walk away, or turn your back on an addict; they too desire to reach the summit of sobriety and a guide of sorts to help them make that one reasonable decision.